Sorry & Thank you

I want to start this post with an apology. I haven't posted anything here in quite some time. There are a few reasons for this, some of which I won't go into.

I want to go back to Jan 2023. Some of my close family and friends will be aware of what happened and I am happy to share more on this.

One morning in January of 2023, I woke up and something didn't feel right. I had terrible pins & needles in one arm and to begin with I didn't think much of it. Must have slept on it and restricted the blood supply. I then tried to get out of bed and stand up but I collapsed, my leg completely buckling underneath me. I phoned the doctors to request an appointment and after advising of my symptoms, an ambulance was called.

The next 12-24 hours saw my abillity to simply move, walk, talk and even swallow dwindle away rapidly. During this time, and its all a bit of a blur as everything happened so fast, I was informed that I may have, somehow, contracted something called Guillain–Barré syndrome.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/guillain-barre-syndrome/

A disorder of the peripheral nerves, often preceded by a virus infection, usually beginning in the lower limbs and resulting in abnormal sensation and muscle weakness or paralysis.

I did suffer from a really bad virus (was possibly covid) a couple of days prior and it was potentially as a result of me getting my third covid vaccine shortly prior to this also.

My partner was swiftly called in the middle of the night and was informed of what was happening and it was best she came sooner rather than later. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I think they all thought I could potentially die.

I was put onto a ventilator and placed into a medically induced coma.

I have little memories of my time in this state and its true what they say. Patients in a coma can indeed hear things, I was aware of my partner talking to me, holding my hand and music being played.
I also at one stage, I must have woken up, remember the room I was in having a very deep purple aura, I couldn't move a muscle (I was paralysed pretty much all over at this stage) I also thought I was in a different country, possibly even abducted by aliens and being experimented on. I was probably on some really strong drugs!

When I was finally brought out of my coma, I was still on a ventilator and had wires sticking out of me from all angles. I was alive!

I spent the next 3-4 months in a mixture of intensive care and/or a high dependancy unit. I was being fed through a tube, breathing through another and pissing into a bag at the side of my bed. ICU/HDU are not nice places to be. I saw and heard things I wished I hadn't.

As my time in hospital progressed, I had started to regain movement in my arms and could hold my head up (which I could not do before) I was however still bed bound and it was the job of the physiotherapists to get me walking again. The ventilator was breathing less and less for me and eventually led to me having a Tracheostomy where the pipe was now in my neck rather than in my mouth (but still down my neck and still somewhat helping me breathe)

They started to get me to sit up which then led to sitting on the end of the bed where at this point, I seemed to muster up a lot of sheer determination as I said to myself (and others around me) "I'm going to stand up tomorrow and then the day after, i'm going to walk"

I did indeed do this, granted it was only a few steps but I did it and over the course of the next couple of weeks, my strength came back in leaps and bounds and I was walking again. Don't get me wrong it was still very difficult and tiring. I walked to the car when leaving the hospital (was only a 100 yards or so) and immediately fell asleep.

Why am I telling you all about this? Well its been 2 and half years since this happened. It flipped my familys life upside down and I cannot imagine what they must have been going through. I didn't see my kids for the best part of three months. TBH, I didn't want them to see me in that state, with tubes sticking out of me etc. Maybe, subconciously, this is why I managed to get myself walking again so fast.

I will never ever forget the hug that my eldest gave me when he saw that I was home. <wow, writing this bit just made me cry>

With this happening and with covid prior, i've got fat, like super fat. I must have put on about 3-4 stone in weight. I still haven't regained proper motion in my legs. I have zero reflexes and my neurologist has said that if they don't return in 2 years, they never will. Well damm!

This leads me onto the fact that exercising is a problem. I can't just go for a jog, or hop on my skateboard and start skating again (believe me, i've tried - I just can't do it anymore - having no reflexes really hinders your abillity here)

I've always previously been really active and very sporty. I cannot do half of the things I used to do and this is killing me. I need to lose some weight fast!

Over the next 4-6 weeks (hopefully longer and I can keep it up) I will be doing some daily exercises. (ones that I think I can do) My next blog post will detail more on what I am doing and with me being a techie, I've (chatGPT) created something to help me.

I just want to say sorry to my family what they had to endure during my time in hospital and following me being discharged. I possibly wasn't the nicest person to be around at times. I love you all!